Crazy Old Man
by Dags-Calhoun
Summary: This is all about what happens when a very hot man has to many Lemon Drops. It is AU and has mintions of slash.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** None of the characters are mine nor is any setting that might appear or get destroyed, thank you.

**A/N: **Please I really would you rather flame me than give complement this story doesn't deserve so if you do review keep that in mind.

**Crazy Old Man**

' Really for along time I have thought it was just age that made Albus as crazy as he was, but now teaching here for twenty-five years through Harry Potter, And his offspring, and every Weasley under the sun plus this year in about five minutes Neville Longbottom's triplets I have come to suspect it was the children that got him…or Fawkes, never did trust the flaming turkey. Alas somehow I find myself smileling and whistling. Voldemorts gone and maybe I've gone crazy I did spend a lot of time in his office…Oh, my! I've relised, all that time I. had. LEMONDROPS! That's where the insanity lies." That epiphany is what knocked him out of his drug-induced happiness.

"Lemondrop Severus?" asked the crazed Headmaster

"No Albus!" Sev said vehemently "You are what has caused my craziness you and those damned delectable sweets!"

"How could you say that Severus?" he asked a very present and bright twinkle in his bright blue eyes.

With a cry of outrage Professor Severus Snape rose up and stalked out of the Great Hall heading for his personal rooms to change out of his dark lavender robes into something more suiting on the way inadvertently showing his rather broad and toned body to the new professor Hermione Granger and more than half of the Hogwarts students as he took off his outer robes to show him in just a pair of Wrangler jeans. Many of the women and men plus boys and girls were ether drooling or eyeing him with a preditorial gaze, others where like 'wow never thought I'd see that'.

"Oh, this year is gona be fun." Said Hermione, one of the many women that had been eyeing their prey before he had rounded a corner and was out of sight. "Very fun indeed." With a smirk and scheming mind Hermione lead the second through seventh years into the hall.

**A/N: **If you have nothing nice to say, say itPlease review and say if you want me to continue


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclamer: **Nothing you may see either intact or utterly destroyed in this is mine. Nothing. It sucks but hey at least I can play around with them.

**A/N: **As said in the other chapter I want a completely honest review if you do choose to review.

As Severus sat down at the head table he didn't notice nearly every woman and girl trying to get a good look at him. Neither did he notice them also attempting to see a part of his strong upper body beneath the black silk shirt you could see behind the open black robe 'Damn side affects of the drugs' (A/N: I love side affects don't you?). The feast still had not started when Severus entered and sat down at the head table. And it had still not started now that he was seated, completely oblivious to the looks he was receiving from a lot of the student body.

"You know Severus nearly every woman has there eyes on you tonight." Said Dumbledore eyes twinkling as he offered a lemondrop to Severus. "Oh, no not again I will never, willingly, eat another one of your drug laced candy's for as long as I live." He said grabbing the drop and flicking it out into the throng of student ''accidentally'' hitting one of the Potter triplets causing her to look up at Dumbledore with a look that clearly said 'what the hell man?' Dumbledore seeing this had an innocent look on his face and pointed to Severus who looked like he was having trouble keeping himself from strangling Dumbledore and a new lady who was laughing like a crazy woman.

" Welcome, all students of Hogwarts it is my pleasure to welcome you into a new year at our wonderful school." Said Dumbledore looking around with a bright twinkling in his eyes. " It is also my pleasure to introduce our new Defense Against The Dark Arts professor, Rea Dawn." There were polite claps and murmuring as the crazy laughing woman stood and nodded her head to the student body. " I know you don't want to listen to an old man talk on and on-" he was interrupted as LeeRoy, BillyRay and BillyJoe Weasley shouted out "Here, here!" Professor Snape and Dawn just gave them a look and they sorta cowered down in their sets. "Now as I was saying, we may now digin!" he exclaimed and waved his arms causing food to appear on the gold and silver platters.

" You know Sev, Albus is right." Said Rea before taking a drink of her Jack 'n Coke. Severus looked at her inquisitively. "Well nearly every female in this room's either whispering about, drooling over or eying you. Or glaring at me 'cause I'm talking to you." She said sounding very pleased with herself before taking another gulp of her delicious drink. " Severus looked around the large room causing many to look away blushing furiously. He smirked at Kyra Bones who blushed like crazy and looked down at her plate. "Now that was just plain mean Professer." Said a voice he imiedeitly recognized as Hermione Granger. "It's Severus now Hermione. We are equals." She looked oddly at him from on the other side of Rea who was looking interestedly at a part of the dinner she learned to be King Curry. "Don't look at me like that it was Albus idea, I had nothing to do with it."

Severus looked over the students and noticed the many were now glaring at Hermione. He smiled and patted Rea on her hand just to see what would happen. Rea looked up at him and cocked her head to one side as every woman in the hall hissed like cats and started muttering rather mean things about Rea under there breath. Severus started chuckling as Rea figured out why he did that. "Sev you are being really rather mean you know that?" Rea said smiling mischievously "Yes Rea I do realize this yet I don't mind it what-so-ever."


End file.
